- ½ cup frozen sweet dark cherries
- ½ cup fresh strawberries, quartered
- ½ lemon, juiced
- 1 tablespoon coconut sugar
- 2 shots vodka
- 1 bottle dry rosé
- 4 tablespoons maple syrup (optional)
- tonic water
- In a small bowl combine your frozen cherries, strawberries, lemon juice and coconut sugar. Toss gently until everything is well coated. Let sit for 5 minutes or so.
- Divide your fruit evenly between 4 glasses and add ½ shot of vodka to each glass.
- Pour wine in each glass until it's ¾ the way full. Add in a tablespoon of maple syrup in each glass if you like sweeter drinks!
- Top each glass with ice and a splash of tonic water.
- Use a spoon or a straw to stir each glass.
- DRINK UP.
I spent many years of my life learning how to hate my body. I taught myself how to do that. (I mean, our vain culture helped, but it was mostly me.) I practiced and practiced and practiced and came damn close to perfect at beating myself up over everything. I was really good at it. Like, pro level.
Which means that it took a lot of time to unlearn those things. Not to mention the time it then took to learn how to love myself. That was a whole new battle in itself. It took lots of practice, and I’m no where close to perfect at it yet. But I shouldn’t be. Because humans aren’t perfect and therefore our love is imperfect, and therefore we have to learn how to love our unperfect selves unperfectly. Woof. That’s a mouth full. But it’s true.
That’s the beauty of humans. We have all sorts of bodies and faces and bumps and races and shapes and sizes and rolls and jiggles and laughs and birthmarks and stories. Those things don’t make us perfect, but they make us human. And I’d say that’s good enough. (Perhaps it’s even the best thing.) Because it lets us off the hook, gives us some room to fail spectacularly and also room to celebrate our successes.
So since that made up holiday called Valentines Day is coming up, and everyone is focused on love – I thought I’d share some of the ways I have learned to love myself. Deeply. Truly. Openly. Some of these may seem trivial, but I promise they are not. If you practice them, I’m willing to bet they will change the way you see yourself.
- When I see a photo of myself, instead of judging how I look I ask myself, “Do I look like a human in this?” (Hint: the answer is *almost* always yes.) And I let that be good enough.
- I have one mirror at home that I know I like. Meaning, I like the way I look when I check myself out in it. And I let that be the ONLY mirror I judge myself by. It is my “truth” and I choose to believe it. Because what are facts anymore, anyway? All other mirrors are LIARS if you ask me. Go in search of that mirror.
- I try to compliment the beauty I see in others – especially when it feels scary to do so. That really intimidating girl in your workout class? Tell her what a badass you think she is. I bet you’ll both come out with your head held a little higher.
- This whole “dress for your body type” thing??? F**K THAT. Wear what you want. Wear what makes you feel great. I tried to convince myself for years to wear bright colors because people always complimented me when I did. But I HATED it. So I stopped wearing them, and now I LOVE my wardrobe. YOU DO YOU. Let everyone else worry about their damn clothes.
- Eat a meal alone. I mean really alone. No tv or phone or computer or whatever. Just be with you – learn to hear the sound of hunger in your voice. Learn how to breathe in between bites (I’m still working on this.) Learn to appreciate the hands that made your food (especially if they were your own.) Learn what your stomach feels like when it’s full. Learn what craving vegetables feels like. Learn about your body. Listen when it speaks.
- Give up on food fads. You don’t have to do crossfit and do Whole30 to be a worthwhile human. You can just eat foods that make your body feel alive – feel whole – feel happy. This doesn’t mean fast food all day, but it might mean a salad and a Vodka Rosé Valentines Day Sparkler. (If you’re feeling fancy!) It’s about feeding yourself like you love the person your feeding.
We all have to learn how to love, especially if we have been hurt in the past. And many of us have hurt ourselves time and time again – with our words, our thoughts, our actions, etc. So it may take time to earn your own trust back. It will take time to learn how to love again. But you can do it. And oh gosh, it’s so worth it. Because self love is the only relationship in which you can’t get your heart broken. You can’t break up with you. So you might as well learn how to get along with yourself, and I’m guessing you might just fall head over heels in love in the process.